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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28112607">Old Wounds</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/punknouis/pseuds/punknouis'>punknouis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>angels circle around you (cause you shouldn't be on your own) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Rise of Kyoshi, The Shadow of Kyoshi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Implied Sexual Content, Non-Graphic Smut, Secret Relationship, brief depiction of smut, but like not in a fun way, it is like SO brief and not really even a scene just like mentions of it happening, no beta we die like lesbians</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:54:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,152</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28112607</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/punknouis/pseuds/punknouis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><em>“This is the last time.” The firebender’s words come out harsh, almost as harsh as the grip she has on the back of Kyoshi’s neck.</em><br/> </p><p>  <em>Kyoshi nods hurriedly, past the point of caring about what she knows is a lie, before pressing a bruising kiss on the girl's lips.</em></p><p> </p><p>Rangi doesn't want to be with Kyoshi anymore, but she still finds a way into her bed. Kyoshi will take what she can get, but she can only deal with this arrangement for so long before it becomes too much to bear.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kyoshi/Rangi (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>angels circle around you (cause you shouldn't be on your own) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2098698</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>116</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Old Wounds</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This work is inspired and titled after the song Old Wounds by PVRIS, the quote in the beginning is also from that song. Highly recommend!</p><p>This is what I would imagine things would be like if Rangi came back from the NWT and was like... "Sike!" because she realized the couldn't handle the risks of being attached to the Avatar and how vulnerable that would make her to experiencing loss?<br/>Would take place after the events of Rise of Kyoshi but like....if Shadow of Kyoshi didn't happen. Like I said, hella canon divergent. Just was in the mood to write something angsty.<br/>The italicized bits are flashbacks!</p><p>I do not own any of these characters or condone any of the actions that go on in this fic, juuuuuust saying. Unbeta'd so I apologize for any mistakes!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>And I've got nothing left to lose besides you</em><br/>
<em>And I've already lost you once</em><br/>
<em>What more could you do?</em><br/>
<em>They say don't open old wounds</em><br/>
<em>But I want to</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I think I could love you 'til the day that you die</em><br/>
<em>If you let me love you when the timing is right</em><br/>
<em>And if they said I had to, I swear I'd wait my whole life</em><br/>
<em>I think I could love you 'til the day that you die</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>-Old Wounds</em> </strong>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“This is the last time.” The firebender’s words come out harsh, almost as harsh as the grip she has on the back of Kyoshi’s neck.</p><p> </p><p>Kyoshi nods hurriedly, past the point of caring about what she knows is a lie, before pressing a bruising kiss on the girl's lips. Rangi nips at Kyoshi’s bottom lip and Kyoshi opens up for her with a groan. Rangi lets Kyoshi slip her hands under her robes, lets Kyoshi undress her, lets Kyoshi completely undo her just like she’s done so many times before. </p><p> </p><p>Kyoshi’s eyes remain screwed shut the whole time Rangi touches her, tears threatening to overflow if she opens them. The sight of Rangi working her mouth down between Kyoshi’s legs would be too much to bear. Kyoshi’s heart splinters at the image, while her body catches fire with the feeling.</p><p>When Kyoshi’s orgasm tears through her body, she throws her arms over her face to muffle the cries she cannot stop. The tears spill over, out of her control.</p><p> </p><p>Rangi dresses swiftly and silently, turned away from the Avatar. She leaves the room with a soft thud of a closing door.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Not even two weeks later, they’re back in the same position. It always starts and ends the same way: Rangi tells her that this is the last time and Kyoshi wakes up alone. Every time it rips a new hole in Kyoshi’s heart. Breaks her down just a little bit more. As if she hasn't been through this cycle so many times before.</p><p> </p><p>When they’re together, performing their duties as the Avatar and her bodyguard, Rangi feels so far away -- just out of Kyoshi’s reach. She stands beside her but her bronze eyes are hollow, avoiding Kyoshi at all costs. She keeps her distance, shying away from even the briefest, most professional of touches. She only speaks to Kyoshi when she must, her voice clipped and short. Gone is the teasing, the tenderness, even the yelling that Kyoshi has come to miss.</p><p> </p><p>But when they’re alone and Rangi comes to Kyoshi in the middle of the night, she gets a little closer to Kyoshi's grasp.</p><p>She speaks to her in hushed whispers against bare skin. Her eyes are aflame once Kyoshi’s fingers dip inside of her, and she holds Kyoshi’s gaze as she comes in her lap. Kyoshi thinks she would endure any pain that she must to hold onto the feeling of Rangi’s hands in her hair, her fingers tracing along her jaw, and her lips on her neck. Because in that moment, Kyoshi can let herself pretend that Rangi is hers again.</p><p>-</p><p>“How much longer are you going to let her put you through this?” Jinpa whispers one day, a gentle hand resting on Kyoshi’s shoulder. “How much longer are you going to put yourself through this?”</p><p> </p><p>Kyoshi's face is hidden in her scarred hands. She shouldn’t be surprised that Jinpa figured out what was going on, that he had noticed Rangi sneaking out of her room late at night even though she avoids Kyoshi like the plague otherwise. He had no doubt heard Kyoshi long ago (and maybe not so long ago) when she would cry herself to sleep, unable to find peace without her center. She's surprised he hadn't broached the subject sooner.</p><p> </p><p>“Everything that happened…it isn’t your fault. And just because she—”</p><p> </p><p>The sound of metal scraping against wood cuts him off as Kyoshi stands and her chair moves from underneath her, tumbling to the ground from the sudden force. </p><p> </p><p>“Enough, Jinpa.” Her stern voice makes the monk tense. “I’m done talking about the subject.”</p><p>The Avatar turns away from him. “Leave,” she says coldly.</p><p> </p><p>Kyoshi knows she’ll have to apologize to him later, but she can’t stand to listen to what she knows is true.</p><p> </p><p>Kyoshi knows in her heart of hearts that it’s not her fault Rangi doesn’t to be with her anymore.</p><p>It’s taken time, but she’s spent the past two years working on forgiving herself for the things she cannot control, and for the things from the past she cannot change. She did what she thought was best at the time. She cannot hold it against Rangi for not wanting to get too close again. Hei-Ran is a perfect example of how being close to the Avatar can have...<em> consequences</em>.</p><p>Kyoshi thought she could handle it, but every touch reopens wounds on her heart that have yet to heal.  She's running out of strength.</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em> When she had imagined Rangi’s return, she did not picture it like this. She pictured an embrace so tight it knocked the wind out of her. She pictured tears from her glowing girl, who would never admit how easily they came to her but also could not stop them if she tried. She pictured frantic kisses placed on all the available skin they could reach, until they had a moment alone. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She did not picture Rangi’s stoic face, mouth pulled into a straight line. There is no urgency to her greeting, no signs of being missed. She stands there, still as a statue, under the intricate gates of the Fire Lord’s palace where they had scheduled to meet. Kyoshi tries not to let her disappointment show.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Rangi…” she starts, all of the words she had wanted to say for the past year falling to the side. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Rangi bows and says tersely, “Avatar Kyoshi.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Kyoshi now makes no effort to hide her expression. Confusion contorts her features. She laughs uncomfortably. She’s not quite sure what to do with her hands, so she brings them behind her back to keep them still. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I know it’s been a while, but you don’t need to call me that.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She does not get the teasing response she expects.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> They take a walk around the gardens of the palace. Jinpa excused himself to help Yingyong get settled, leaving the two girls alone. They make small talk, Rangi recalling the journey and filling Kyoshi in on her mother’s condition. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> As Rangi goes on about how helpful Atuat has been to nursing Hei-Ran back to health, Kyoshi cannot help but stare at the girl’s features. She missed the sharp cut of her jaw and how it tenses while she thinks. She missed her deep voice and the sharp edge that cuts almost every word, because Kyoshi knows it’s just a front for the softness she holds within. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Kyoshi doesn’t even think when she reaches for Rangi’s hand, but the motion causes the firebender to stop in her tracks. Their hands do not touch, as Rangi puts more distance between them. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She clears her throat before continuing. “Kyoshi, we should talk.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The rest of the conversation is a blur. Her voice is warped, like Kyoshi is underwater and Rangi is speaking to her from the shore. Kyoshi cannot recall the exact words Rangi used, only the way Kyoshi's chest caves in on itself with a searing pain. She can't catch her breath. She’s drowning above water. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She definitely could have made a more graceful exit, but she can’t stand to look at Rangi any longer. She didn’t call out to Kyoshi or make any attempt to follow her. (And why should she? She does not owe Kyoshi her comfort any longer.) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She finds herself wandering the grounds until she spots a tree far off to the side. It’s out of the way, tucked close to the tall wall that surrounds the garden. She will most likely be undisturbed, unless someone is seeking her out. She presses her back into the trunk, but does not feel the texture of the bark through her thick armor. She pulls her gloves off, throws them to the ground and runs her hands over the bumpy patterns along the trunk. Her body moves of its own accord as she crumples to the ground onto her knees. Her hands dig into the dirt to support her upper body, her fingers sinking in easily into the earth. Without her center there to keep her grounded, she feels as if she might float away. Or be pulled below the surface. At this point, would it matter? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Her fingers curl into the soil, and she begins to dig furiously at the ground around her. She tosses clumps of grass to the side. Her own ragged breaths thunder in her ears and her tears flood her face, soaking her cheeks and rolling off of her chin. She can feel herself making noises, but doesn’t care to muffle them. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She doesn't know how much time has passed, but when her breathing finally begins to even out she notices dozens of haphazardly dug holes scattered around her. Dirt has become caked under her fingernails and stains her scarred hands. It felt good to destroy something and with her own hands, with her own strength and not with the help of her bending. To rip and to pull and to tear. Someone will have to replant the grass under this tree, she briefly notes. She wipes her hands on robes and then wipes her eyes with her sleeve. Kyoshi finds her gloves, slips them back over her hands, and goes to find her room. </em>
</p><p>-</p><p>The next time she visits after Kyoshi and Jinpa’s talk, Rangi sneaks into her tent while they are all camping in the forest that surrounds a small northern Earth Kingdom town. It’s the same situation that they have been finding everywhere else in the Earth Kingdom. A crooked leader, taking more for himself and depriving the citizens. Nothing surprising or challenging, and nothing they can’t handle.</p><p> </p><p>And Kyoshi finds herself in the same situation she has been in too many times before. She hears her name whispered in the dark by an all too familiar raspy voice. Then the feeling of a hand on her shoulder, trying to roll her over.</p><p> </p><p>“Not tonight Rangi,” Kyoshi huffs and pulls her shoulder away.</p><p> </p><p>“Kyoshi,” Rangi drawls.</p><p> </p><p>With less conviction, she tries again. “I’m tired.”</p><p> </p><p>Kyoshi can feel her hand hovering, the warmth radiating from her palm. Normally it’s a warmth she craves, but tonight it’s scalding. Painful. She needs a reprieve, if only for a little while, in order to heal.</p><p> </p><p>Rangi lays down on the bedroll behind Kyoshi and presses herself against her. “I’m not,” she whispers.</p><p>She slides her hand over Kyoshi’s waist, splaying her fingers over her stomach. Kyoshi’s body freezes.</p><p> </p><p>And then with the slightest movement of her hand, she bends the ground beneath Rangi. The earth moves like a wave to push the girl up and roll her away from Kyoshi. She hears a thump as Rangi's body rolls onto the dusty floor. She’s never used her bending against Rangi before, and without even looking she can feel the rage emanating from her. It instantly feels warmer inside the confines of the tent.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine,” Rangi spits as she stands and brushes herself off, “Suit yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>Kyoshi can barely hear her storm out over the blood rushing in her ears. Her skin prickles and stings with the pain of being left alone, but it is nothing she hasn't felt before. </p><p>
  <em> - </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Kyoshi wakes to the sound of her door creaking open. Instead of jumping out of bed, her body freezes in place. Her eyes are blown wide and staring into the darkness of her room, and she listens. Listens for a sound that might reveal who the intruder is, or what they’re going to do. It’s silent for a moment, Kyoshi’s ears straining to even pick up the sound of a breath. She doesn’t have to wait long before she hears her name whispered into the blackness. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Rangi?” She whispers back, turning over to face the doorway, “What are you doing?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The shorter girl slips inside and closes the heavy door gently behind her before responding. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I couldn’t sleep,” she sighs. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> They’ve only been back at the Avatar mansion for a week. Kyoshi’s body is wiped from traveling, and she appreciates her slightly too small bed more and more every time she returns. But Rangi hasn’t been back to the mansion in almost a year and a half. It must be difficult for her to truly get any sleep while her body adjusts to being back in this place they used to call home. A place that holds so many memories. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Rangi hasn’t moved from her statuesque position at the door. Kyoshi peels back the sheet of her bed and wiggles her body as best she can manage to the far edge, creating as much space as she can. Kyoshi pats the mattress in an invitation, unsure if this is even what Rangi had meant. They hadn’t spent time alone together since their conversation in the garden. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But Rangi wordlessly joins her, sliding into the bed and turning on her side to face the taller girl. The bed is small enough that even when Kyoshi is alone it feels cramped. They’re so close that their legs are touching, nowhere else for them to go. Kyoshi holds her breath as she takes in the sight of Rangi in her slip, her shoulders and arms exposed and her black hair loose around her face. She hasn’t seen her like this in so long that it feels like a dream. She doesn’t dare move, doesn’t dare speak, afraid the image will dissipate before her eyes. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I didn’t come to just sleep.” Rangi admits after a few minutes of silence. A finger reaches out to trace the edge of Kyoshi’s top, grazing her collarbone. Goosebumps emerge in the wake of Rangi’s touch. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Did you want to talk?” Kyoshi asks, deliberately pushing down the only other possible reason Rangi would seek out her bed because, no. That couldn’t be it. Rangi was not hers to want like that anymore. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Rangi shakes her head slowly. Her finger moves to hook under the strap of Kyoshi’s night shirt, resting there hesitantly. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The firebender looks up at her, and for a moment it feels like nothing has changed. The look in her eye is one that Kyoshi has seen before. She maintains eye contact as she pulls the strap from Kyoshi’s shoulder, undoubtedly searching for a sign of protest. She doesn’t find one. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I didn’t know the last time was going to be our last,” Rangi whispers, “So maybe…” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Kyoshi nods earnestly, not needing to hear the rest. The words she wants to say are stuck in the base of her throat, too heavy and thick to make their way into the space between them. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>You made that decision<em> , she thinks. </em> But I miss you <em> , she thinks. </em> I want you in any capacity you are willing to give <em> . </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> With that, Rangi surges forward. This is what Kyoshi expected when they reunited. This is what she had hoped for. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “One last time,” she reminds Kyoshi in between kisses. Kyoshi's only response is to thread one hand into Rangi’s hair and place the other on the back of Rangi’s thigh to pull the firebender on top of her. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> In the morning, when her bed is empty once again, she muffles a scream into her pillow. </em>
</p><p>-</p><p>“Can I talk to you?” Rangi whispers to Kyoshi the next morning as the Avatar packs away her tent. Rangi is already packed up, most likely having woken up before everyone else. Or did she lie awake all night, sleep escaping her, like it did for Kyoshi?</p><p> </p><p>“Do I have a choice?” Kyoshi asks dryly.</p><p> </p><p>“You always have a choice,” Rangi starts in a hushed annoyance. When she continues, she dials it back. “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you didn’t.”</p><p> </p><p>The apology for her behavior last night was not going to be enough to help her heal from the torture of the past two years. Kyoshi nods curtly but offers nothing else. Not even eye contact, maintaining her focus on the mess of a tent before her.</p><p> </p><p>Rangi tries again, “Are you alright?” </p><p>Her voice is gentler than she’s heard in a long time, not since before she left for Agna Qel'a. It pulls at the remaining tatters of Kyoshi’s heart.</p><p> </p><p>“Just peachy,” Kyoshi huffs. She continues to stuff her pack, aggressively pushing in her belongings, forcing them to fit.</p><p> </p><p>“Here, let me,” Rangi reaches to help, but Kyoshi shoves her away with her shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>She stumbles slightly, and looks up at the Avatar in disbelief. Her gentleness has disappeared, “What is your problem?”</p><p> </p><p>Kyoshi steps towards Rangi, looking down on her. The glowing girl she has loved for so long doesn’t even flinch.</p><p> </p><p>“Like you don’t know,” Kyoshi all but hisses. Rangi grimaces but doesn't respond, so Kyoshi continues. "This has gone on for too long. You can't," Kyoshi's breath catches as she tries to hold back the sob that threatens to rise, "You can't keep doing this to me. I don't think I can take much more of it."</p><p> </p><p>The two girls glare at each other for what feels like hours, but is in reality only several seconds. Rangi takes a deep inhale and blinks slowly. Kyoshi swears she sees smoke come out of her nose when she exhales, but that could just be a trick of the hazy morning light that is now surrounding them.</p><p> </p><p>“You're right. And I want to fix this," Rangi says in a slow and measured tone, looking up through her eyelashes. "Can we talk more about this later? Alone?"</p><p>Kyoshi can tell she is doing her best to tamper down her emotions, something she knows is a challenge for Rangi. Kyoshi expected yelling, lashing out, defensiveness. Rangi has never taken well to being told she is in the wrong. But the simple way she acknowledges Kyoshi's feelings feel like this was a long time coming. Maybe she had simply been waiting for Kyoshi to get fed up, waiting for an opening. She's never been good at apologizing.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine," Kyoshi concedes, much less confident and angry as she had been moments ago. She prays her voice did not give that away. "Later."</p><p>Rangi nods solemnly and walks past her, leaving Kyoshi to finish packing up.</p><p> </p><p>Unable to stop herself, Kyoshi turns to watch the girl walk away. Their eyes meet once again, the firebender already looking over her shoulder as she departs. The sad smile on Rangi's face makes something inside of her swell. It's been so long since she has been on the receiving end of that smile.</p><p>Kyoshi breaks their gaze first. She always breaks first.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>left an open ending for reconciliation because i love them and they deserve happiness okay. maybe i'll write a part two where they fix things between them?</p><p>very excited to write some more for them, the lack of rangshi content on this site is sickening! like let's go people, they are the epitome of wlw romance!</p><p>tumblr --&gt; moderndaygaang</p></blockquote></div></div>
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